Sexuality Pt. 4: Masochism – Sigmund Freud & Beyond

Freud made an illustration on how these fantasies could develop. “This first phase of the beating-phantasy is therefore completely represented by the phrase: ‘My father is beating the child.’ I am betraying a great deal of what is to be brought forward later when instead of this I say: ‘My father is beating the child whom I hate.'” The second stage involves a role replacement where the dreamer is now the target of a beating. “I am being beaten by my father.” But Freud believes that this second phase is a “construction of analysis” that points to what is unconscious, like imagining one being in the place of the beaten individual. In the third stage, the father is replaced by other authority figures like a teacher.

As the child develops in the Oedipus Complex, where the boy usually fights for the attention of the mother, and the girl for the father, a guilt begins to appear that becomes an early formation of the Super-Ego. “…A sense of guilt is invariably the factor that transforms sadism into masochism.” Freud then predicts that punishment represses the desire for the parent, making it unconscious along with that sense of guilt, and because of that, it keeps resurfacing in behaviour. “The sense of guilt cannot have won the field alone; a share must also fall to the love-impulse…If the genital organization, when it has scarcely been effected, is met by repression, the result is not only that every psychical representation of the incestuous love becomes unconscious, or remains so, but there is another result as well: a regressive debasement of the genital organization itself to a lower level. ‘My father loves me’ was meant in a genital sense; owing to the regression it is turned into ‘My father is beating me (I am being beaten by my father)’. This being beaten is now a convergence of the sense of guilt and sexual love. It is not only the punishment for the forbidden genital relation, but also the regressive substitute for that relation, and from this latter source it derives the [craving] which is from this time forward attached to it, and which finds its outlet in masturbatory acts. Here for the first time we have the essence of masochism.”

Regardless of the complexity with which Freud connects pleasure with pain, these early templates can lead to future relationships where a sense of comfort can be felt even if they’re toxic. “…They too made an attempt at developing normal sexual activity, usually at the age of puberty; but their attempt had not enough force in it and was abandoned in the face of the first obstacles which inevitably arise, whereupon they fell back upon their infantile fixation once and for all.”

In a way, it’s like the sadistic mind loses trust in itself and finds benefit in attacking itself. The self-attacking may lead to better behaviour, and many in society do not care how you improve your behaviour, just as long as you do so. Yet for others, it can be pathological. Did we imitate a good parent or a bad one? Also, what past forms of desire were shameful that persist in making the mind not trust itself? “For in our opinion the Oedipus complex is the actual nucleus of neuroses, and the infantile sexuality which culminates in this complex is the true determinant of neuroses. What remains of the complex in the unconscious represents the disposition to the later development of neuroses in the adult. In this way the beating-phantasy and other analogous perverse fixations would also only be [scars] of the Oedipus complex, left behind after the process has ended, just as the notorious ‘sense of inferiority’ corresponds to a narcissistic scar of the same sort.”

This earlier paper of Freud alludes to his later Super-Ego theory, and how this entity becomes like an imitated authority figure living in the psyche. It is often influenced by parents, who attached reward to punishment, knowingly or unknowingly. This created an internal police where people punish themselves willfully, even when external threats are not present. “We should assign it to the agency in the mind which sets itself up as a critical conscience over against the rest of the ego, and which cuts itself loose from the ego in delusions of being watched.” Here the connection that one sees is that this internal police can be fair or unfair, and the Ego can be handicapped by a pathological Super-ego. It helps to explain how people can be afraid of success, like they are an impostor, and how they can derail their own plans with self-sabotage. The sexuality component is also clear, when punishment can be a “no other alternative” for people, and a familiar, and therefore a reliable form of pleasure takes the place of something more healthy. Freud always wanted people to bridge the gap between debasement and lust with tenderness.

Love – Sigmund Freud & Beyond: https://rumble.com/v1gv5pd-love-freud-and-beyond.html

Cognitive dissonance

In the insightful commentary of the IPA’s translation of A Child is Being Beaten, Novick & Novick describe the masochistic mentality and its need to negotiate with an imitated pathological internal parent. “We see passivity as an ego quality linked in its pathological extreme manifestations to the experience of parental inability to sustain attention…Masochists are very active in their pursuit of pain and failure, in part to maintain the receptive relationship with an intrusive object.” This hints at the cure to the problem, which is the ability to develop the ego to achieve goals, and to resist self-destruction, even if it has a paradoxical feeling of pleasure involved.

In Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, Nancy McWilliams provides more modern extensions to Freud’s initial work. Freud did find that a healthy Super-ego could be followed by the Ego, but one doesn’t always have a healthy Super-ego. Like in Beyond the Pleasure Principle, the Reality Principle can compulsively repeat disasters in order to master them, or if influenced by the Nirvana Principle, there can be a need to self-destruct to kill off the pain coming from the Super-ego.  “When one has had a frightening, negligent, or abusive background, the need to recreate those circumstances in order to try to master them psychologically can be both visible and tragic.” This can be seen in Freud’s patient, the ‘Wolfman’, Sergei Pankejeff. He got limited help from Freud, who was struggling with masochistic patients, and was unable to fend off bad relationships all through his life, due to a lack of assertiveness, coddling by analysts, and his low self-esteem.

Beyond the Pleasure Principle: https://rumble.com/v1gv855-beyond-the-pleasure-principle-freud-and-beyond-war-pt.-23.html

The ‘Wolfman’ Pt. 1: https://rumble.com/v1gucp1-case-studies-the-wolf-man-13-freud-and-beyond.html

The Ego and the Id – Sigmund Freud: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9781891396816/

Treatment of masochism requires that the therapist does not provide a model of masochism, or a model of a sadist taking pleasure at the patient’s expense, and reinforcing their low self-esteem. “Setting an example that one takes care of oneself without feeling guilt about the neurotic reactions of others may elicit moralistic horror from masochistic people, but it may inspire them to experiment with being more self-respectful.” The point of this role-modeling is to try to demolish pathological beliefs like: “If I suffer enough, I’ll get love…The best way to deal with my enemies is to demonstrate that they are abusers…The only reason something good happened to me was that [I punished myself enough.”] It’s the lesson that if you take care of yourself, it’s faster than waiting for someone else to do it for you, and it’s also safer. Many of the masochists that therapists treat, are in toxic relationships with narcissists.

Similar to Nancy’s suggestions, Sandra Brown, who counsels many people in toxic relationships, wants to remind people that those with low self-esteem are injured. In particular their ability to handle cognitive dissonance, or ambivalence, which is impaired with post-traumatic stress. The depth of this ambivalence goes all the way to the core. Victims may be unsure of whether their partner is toxic or not, precisely because abusers provide both rewards and punishments, but also they may have ambivalence about their own self-worth. Like exercising a muscle, the patient has to exercise their executive decision making functions with consistent actions that align with values. It’s important for people to realize that when you do good things for yourself, not everyone else has to like it. Like a dictator that despises your freedom, it’s okay to rebel. When you upset toxic people, it’s quite possible that you are doing something good for yourself.

Psychology: https://psychreviews.org/category/psychology01/